Tripping without Falling

The following *text follows a systemic series of thoughts I found myself quite literally tripping over on one of my walks this week.

So yes this is about the kind’ve tripping that involves twisting an ankle, and not Psilocybin-based, although that does sound like a concept of a blog for another time.

*I use the term text loosely to create a mentality that something I write may actually hold some weight with someone and not purely be an outlet for my ADHD and where my brain goes when I find some tangent

Failure shows itself in many shapes and sizes.

I just finished my nightly walk with my dogs and to no surprise managed to trip more times than I’d prefer to admit.

Despite my chronic clutzipathy (not a word but i like the sound of it), I managed to not completely fall to the Earth (regardless of gravity rearing its ugly head and whispering all of Sir Isaac Newton’s dirty little philosophical mutterings into my colloquial ear).

It was 12:17am in the morning when I tripped for the second time on our walk.

I choose to blame my oversized pajama bottoms that tend to drag no matter how many times I roll them

clutzipathy  kluh·tz·i·​pathy noun kl-uh-tz-pə-thē : an overall awareness of your inept ability to be an absolute clutz in any and all situations.

Now what did I do in the immediate seconds proceeding my trip?

I laughed at myself and kept moving on as if nothing happened, although I did spook my dogs.

It’s past midnight and fucking cold, what else would any sane person do?

(this is not me accusing myself of sanity, I feel I have been long gone from that realm since the mid 2000’s)

But as I was walking after that trip, my thoughts also began to *stumble.

*See my clever play on words there? And even if you didn’t; my inability to be humble and pretend I don’t think I’m utterly hilarious requires me to make you either go back and look at it now or at least waste some more of your time telling you about it.

Anywho-

As I caught myself and kept walking, in the midst of my post-trip somewhat self-depricating chuckle I muttered something along the lines of, “nice job Lauren”. But here’s the thing, despite my natural sarcastic homeostasis my dialogue consistently maintains, I meant it. I mean do you know how inconvenient it would have been for me to fully fall on that sidewalk? It took everything in me to even get myself to go on that walk in the first place, I HATE to be cold. 

There's a reason I went form Ohio to Arizona.

What I liked and stood out to me about where my mind went in that moment was that rather than being upset for tripping in the first place, I was more so glad that I managed to prevent that trip from turning into a fall.

Maybe this is just me trying to be that irrevocable ‘glass half full’ person I oh so strive to be, but more so I think it’s a moment of food for thought (if you’re hungry).

If I learned anything in college, aside how to pour a beer with minimal foam and how to function somewhat properly on two hours sleep, it was to seek failure.

This was the common theme throughout the entirety of my time studying entrepreneurship in college. I think a component that can transversely be added onto this is how we overall choose to view failure. Some may choose to view a stumble as a form of failure, but when you really break down what it means to stumble, you may start to see it in a different light.

But maybe I’m just trying to gaslight you into thinking I’m not clumsy at all and actually more of a part-time philosopher.

What happened was when I started to fail in one way (falling) I pivoted by catching myself and making it a stumble. We do this a lot of different ways in life, whether it’s pumping the breaks on a romantic relationship or turning down the fireball shot and opting for a beer in hopes of saving your future self a headache (figuratively and literally).

There’s a difference between seeking failure when the result of the success you’re looking for is unknown. I.E maybe going on a date with someone who isn’t normally ‘your type’ or you don’t seem to have a lot in common, but there is still a chance that you find some sort of success in the endeavor - or at least you reaffirm that men who work in finance still are full of $hit.

I’m not going to try and spin this anyway that had I fully “sought failure” on the walk with my dogs and ate shit on the concrete would have opened up any kind’ve door for me, aside from potentially that of an urgent care.

But I will say I genuinely believe there are thousands of much less literal stumbles and falls in life that will open doors you never even realized. The world of opportunity is a speakeasy; we just have to find out how to get there and get inside.

Back to the shapes and sizes failure presents itself in our lives:

The shape I personally encounter the most seems to revolve around my love life.

Even just writing that out seems facetious seeing as it has seemed to inhabit everything but the love part. 

Since I’m sure none of you live in a cave (seeing as you’ve clicked an electronic link to even make it here to my blog) I’ll take it you know the term ‘falling in love’.

Now I would like to preface that I am someone who has never been in love, so who’s to say I can actually give any insight here, but I am already up here on my soap box, so might as well give it a whirl.

I don’t like the phrase falling in love because it aides in this mentality that love is something we don’t mean for that just happens to us. Now that’s not to say you can’t unintentionally meet a person or be instantly attracted to someone. BUT the actual process of love (in my view) should be intentional.

It should not be this instantaneous thing because you do not know who a person is to there very soul in an instant. You cannot gather over one glance that this man will not only be a good partner to you, but in time a good father to your children. Further than that (assuming it’s in God’s plan for me) I don’t want my kids to have a good dad - I want an amazing one for them. 

Yes one that makes them laugh and protects them; but also works in tandem with me to hold them (as well as myself and his self) accountable. Disappointment is inevitable – and I don’t say that in a scary pessimistic way; but rather in a prepared manner. Kids will say and do things they don’t mean, honestly adults will to. When I find my person I want to know they will look my child in the eye and work to instil the values I think people should be raised with.

To not laugh at people who are different than us. To respect everyone because it is not something to be earned. To stand up for those who may not have the support or ability to do so for themselves.

Nothing in that realm just ‘falls’ into your lap.

Tripping allows you the opportunity to catch yourself and change behaviors in your life to keep from falling.

Stop dragging your feet and work towards whatever it is you want to in this life.

Xoxo Mild Girl